I have everything, but I don't feel happy

"I have everything: a loving family, many friends, an interesting and well-paid job, but I don't feel happy."

Sounds familiar? If so, do you recognize yourself or your loved ones? If not, you're probably lucky. 🍀

Because this thought is alive in the heads of many very well-off people. The good news is that we don't have to believe our every thought. 💡

1️⃣ "I have"

I'm sorry, but we don‘t "have" and rather "are responsible for".

The more responsibilities we have, the heavier the burden. The difference is that some of us choose to carry that burden consciously (similar to Sisyphus), while others surrender to the flow of life.

So if you want to be happy, take responsibility for life's burdens or "have" less. Your choice.

2️⃣ "Everything"

Compliance with the social contract (having "everything") is not a condition for the happiness of the individual, but rather of the state. Unfortunately, the state is just another organization with its own goals for survival, which do not necessarily coincide with the goals of the individual.

You can only tell what "everything" is for you by trying everything – and that is impossible. Start with a new literary genre and see where it takes you.

3️⃣ "Loving family"

As Freud would say, there is a fine line between passion and hatred. That‘s similar with family members. Most of the time, we love them (e.g., parents, children, spouses) very much.

But sometimes (or even often) we can't stand them. Admitting to yourself that unconditional love is more of an ideal than the reality of your emotional world is a difficult—but possible—psychological task.

So if you care about your and your family's well-being, don't give in to your dark or shameful thoughts. Be curious and try to understand yourself.

4️⃣ "Many friends"

Those whom you call friends are often just good acquaintances. The people you work with and sometimes go for a beer after work are not friends. The people whom you go with to play tennis and measure whose business is cooler are not friends either.

A friend is a person whom you can sometimes reveal more than the other half. Who are genuinely happy about your achievements. Who are the first to help when there is a problem.

If you want more such people in your life, be open, listen, express joy, and help.

5️⃣ "Interesting job"

We often consider jobs interesting if they encourage us to learn new things and create added value for ourselves, our clients, the organization, or even society. It seems that if the work does not meet these criteria, it is not interesting.

In fact, work is neither interesting nor uninteresting. It's just a job, the ultimate goal of which is to make money, and not go crazy. Everything else we demand from a job or an employer is often just our personal ambitions. So if you are tired of work, it is your problem, not the employer's.

You can ask yourself: what about you, are you interesting?

6️⃣ "A well-paid job"

It took me a while to realize that all jobs are more or less "badly" paid. Because I have not met an employer who would pay more than the cost of our most valuable asset - time. The time we mostly spend at the computer or on the phones, e.g., reading such posts during work. 😊

So, if after a couple of months the increased salary stops pleasing, it is a very normal reaction: more money in the account, and the same amount of time, if not less. Especially if you feel obligated to spend (or pay) more time hanging out with people you probably don't know, and don't really want to know.

And what value do you place on time?

7️⃣ "I don't feel happy"

The duty to feel is a major or even the main reason why we feel "unhappy". Don't be grumpy, always smile, be open to feedback, and offer constructive ideas – that‘s just a small part of the unwritten attitudes that work in a modern team requires.

And what happens when you don't feel like the people around you want you to feel? Often, we stop feeling anything at all, and then we stop feeling when to stop working and go on vacation, when to say "no" to a bothering manager or colleague, etc. So, remember that not feeling uber-positive is better than not feeling anything at all.

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In conclusion, I'd like to wish everyone to be curious and maintain curiosity in the world and asking questions with the help of books, yourself, relatives, or professionals. As long as you are curious, life will not lose its colors. As R. Chandler says in one of his detective novels, "The pursuit of knowledge, brother, is the askin' of many questions."