Coaching is becoming more and more popular in the development of employees (especially top managers). So, my colleagues from the Coaching Service Center talked about the application of coaching in organizations.
A problem that I often see is when managers or employees, who have taken a short-term coaching course and have not personally experienced a single proper coaching session (except maybe during the training itself), start to "coach" their employees.
On the one hand, everything is OK: To be able to listen to the other person, reflect on their thought processes (even contradictory ones), and help draw up an action plan, it is not necessary to go to long-term psychotherapy or complete psychology studies (although it would be very enriching). It's especially great when some are natural listeners (thanks to their temperament and, of course, their parents).
On the other hand, how can we genuinely listen and help others if we can't help ourselves? After all, when we turn to a coach or even more so to a psychologist and therapist, we admit that we want more from life. Therefore, isn’t it a bit hypocritical to expect more from others (e.g., employees) without first demonstrating it by one’s own example? Sure, it’s scary.
Nevertheless, my recommendation is to first experience a coaching session with a professional specialist, and only after experiencing positive outcomes (not necessarily direct, it can also be more awareness and more confidence in your abilities) start to conduct sessions for others.
Another problem is when someone tries to apply coaching competencies during annual or semi-annual interviews. Like, “I tell you what you have to achieve, and now let's think about how you will achieve it in the coming years” – yeah, it sounds really empowering.
As my colleague said during our conversation, the best make-up is the kind that you can't see. Although I don't know much about make-up, what I do understand is that it's important to talk openly about our motives and what we're trying to achieve in one conversation or another. Otherwise, the conversation can become manipulative (which is unethical) or remove personal responsibility from the employee (which is ineffective and leads to a poor microclimate and higher turnover).
While quality listening and open-ended questions are the exception rather than the rule in our daily conversations, ethics require to agree with our employees when we seek to impact their motivation and behavior directly or indirectly . Anyway, let's call things by their real names, and if the origin or purpose of something is unclear, google it!
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